Just Write!

Just Write! is the name of the Logan Township NJ Library’s Writer’s Group. This name originally drew me to the group. After all, all of us writers no matter where we are in our writing lives can boil all our goals down to those two words – “Just Write!” Personally, those two simple words are the hardest for me because I have always let life or other various excuses get in the way.

This January as I was composing my mental list of resolutions (you know, the usual – eat less, exercise more, play with my kids more, be a better person, yada yada yada) I included “write more” in my list. This year is more than half way over, I can say that I am writing “more” but I certainly don’t feel that I am writing “enough.” I am still allowing everything under the sun to get in the way of “just writing.” To move closer to my ultimate goal of one day being a published (PAID) writer – I have decided to specify my goal to writing one story and submitting that one story a month from September to May (Write 1 Submit 1 or W1S1). To facilitate this goal I have told myself that the 4 hours a week I have completely kid-less will be dedicated to writing and nothing else.

How’s that going? Well, I have had a total of 4 hours in the last week to write. I did manage to write two of them. I started out my session with some free writing which I will subject you to now:

I just dropped my 3 year old off at preschool – all smiles and no tears just like the others although there have been threats of tears for weeks. Even this morning, he was screaming that he was not going to go without me and he was going to cry. But upon arrival, he didn’t even look back. My last baby is a big boy. So, I walked away from the school armed with my laptop and ready to make good on the threat to write for two solitary hours at the library. The only chink in the plan is that the library doesn’t open at 9 am. Oops. I suppose I should have thought this one through. I drove around a bit, gathering my thoughts into a plan - searching through my Garmin for an alternative – a close Starbucks or the like. Nada. So, here I sit at the Shoprite coffee shop drinking a lousy cup of coffee when I don’t even need the caffeine but avoiding the heat-lamped pork roll and egg sandwich that I REALLY don’t need for many reasons.

            Upon arrival at Shoprite, the first place I had to hit out of necessity was the restroom (because of all the coffee I’ve already drank today). And even though I am in a public restroom, I still manage to do some thinking (what is it about bathrooms that help me gather my thoughts?). Anyways! So, I came up with the plan to go to the Barnes and Noble at the local college next week. It probably is only 10 minutes away from my son’s school and I’ll be surrounded by collegiate types which I still fancy I am anyways. But alas I am at the Shoprite 10 minutes in the opposite direction so here I will sit amongst the retired and recently widowed; the employees on break (those that aren’t outside smoking); and situated, ironically, next to the babysitting room with screaming kids (I can’t seem to escape!).

            So here I sit in surrounds that aren’t the most conducive to writing unable to write. Go figure! That’s pretty much how it usually happens. I write the most beautiful prose in my head while doing laundry, cleaning toilets, running errands, anytime I can’t write but when I sit down with computer in front of me it doesn’t come! Hence the free writing session at Shoprite.

            It is kind of a good place to people watch. Like the airport. Only sadder. At an airport there is the undertow of excitement, anticipation, privilege. At 10 am on a Thursday morning at the grocery store… I can’t put my finger on the feeling – depression… nobody wants to be here, giving up – I’m here but I’m not even dressed or showered…. There is a woman interviewing for a job in front of me wearing jeans and a tee shirt.

            Man, I really wish I was at Barnes and Nobel. But at least I can pick up some fruit and some stuff for lunch tomorrow. Maybe I can go the library after this….

That interview lasted 10 minutes. Hmmm I wonder if she is going to get hired? So if this writing thing doesn’t work out, I wonder where I am going to work. My husband wants me to work in an office. I think I’d rather work retail. I was happy working at TJ Maxx. Hmm. Or a lunch lady. I really hope this writing thing works out for me! I’m going to try! I’m going to start out slow – write one submit one a month. From September to May. Maybe I should get on to that one story I’m working on…. But maybe after I eat a pork roll and egg sandwich….